"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference." — Elie Wiesel.
It's true that the worst part of being in a relationship is the indifference of your supposedly "significant other". In today's dating world, when someone slowly slips away from your hands and then vanishes altogether, it leaves you in a state where you start questioning everything. Leaving someone like this is called ghosting. You question not only the validity of your relationship but also your own value. You start asking yourself, "Why did he ghost me?" There is no breakup talk, no explanation, no apology, and no contact of any kind. It's complete silence on the other end. Sadly, ghosting is becoming more and more common. As an Elle.com survey showed, 33% of men and 26% of women have not only ghosted someone, but they also experienced it themselves. It is so common that you should be aware of the signs of ghosting.
9 Signs He Is Ghosting You
The following 9 signs of ghosting will help you recognize if the other person is going to vanish from your life.
1. He uses emojis more often than words
The way you communicate with someone over text reveals a lot. For instance, if your boyfriend sends you lovely texts with proper sentences and emojis, it means that he likes you. But if he simply sends one-word texts and emojis, he will ghost you at some point. According to love and communication coach Ar'nie Krogh, "If you notice that instead of red hearts they start sending you blue hearts, that's a definite sign that they are no longer having romantic interest in you. Couple this with mainly emoji replies instead of words, and it's pretty much a done deal."
2. You are the one starting the conversations
Whenever you meet him and feel that coldness and indifference in him, then he is not the one for you. If you feel that he simply sticks to "Hi! How are you doing?", then you definitely need to ask yourself, "Am I being ghosted?" You feel unwanted because you are the one starting most of your conversations. He doesn't take much interest in anything you are saying, and you end up having a bad feeling about him and this relationship.
3. He fails on keeping promises
That's a big one. Never ignore when your date or boyfriend fails on keeping promises. If he can't commit to simple things like taking you to the beach or going to a party when he promised you, you can't trust him. He might simply disappear someday without any notice at all.
4. You have no mutual friends
It's been a while dating a new guy, and he hasn't introduced you to any of his friends. You have also noticed that he keeps his distance from them. He goes silent or changes the subject when you try asking about his friends. It means that he is keeping you a secret so that he can easily disappear from your life. You will not be able to find him because you don't have any mutual friends.
5. He refuses to talk about past relationships
It's okay if someone doesn't want to talk about past relationships in the beginning. But if they keep their past a Top Secret even when you have been dating for months, and you still don't know much about them, you should probably reconsider your choice of your current partner. When your partner doesn't tell you anything about their past relationships, then you can't understand whether they value you and this relationship or not. As a psychotherapist, Paul L. Hokemeyer says, "A capacity to ignore the past indicates a propensity for what's known as emotional cutoff, which is the ability to completely sever relationships." In simple words, he might have ghosted before, and he can do it again.
6. You feel tired and unwanted
Have you been feeling tired and sluggish when you have to go on a date with him? There is no excitement or even a little spark of joy when you see him after a few days or weeks. If the answer is yes to all of it, this relationship might not work out for you. When you date someone or start a relationship, it's important for you to feel loved and desired. If your significant other doesn't make you feel special because they seem distant and indifferent, he might simply leave you without any notice.
7. He always makes excuses
It's common to make excuses when someone doesn't want to be with you. If he keeps cancelling plans or makes excuses that he is busy or he can't be there with you for any reason, it surely is a red flag. You simply can't keep up this hope that he will make up for it later. If he truly cares, he will find time for you despite being busy.
8. He is a Narcissist
It's painful to be with someone who only cares about himself. People who get into relationships simply because of what they can gain from the other person and the relationship are narcissists. Paul Hokemeyer says, "Always a master to be served, they view other human beings as disposable objects, immediately discarded when their novelty wears off."
9. He has told you that he doesn't want to commit
If your guy has explicitly told you that he is not into serious relationships, then you can't convince him otherwise. If he wanted to have something serious with you, he wouldn't be telling you that he doesn't want to commit. Don't hurt yourself in the process of making this guy yours when he is not serious about the relationship at all. When you are not technically in a relationship, he can simply ghost you without any breakup talk.
How to Cope
It's really painful when someone disappears from your life without letting you know. Breakups hurt, but ghosting is a different kind of rejection. It can leave you in a fragile emotional and mental state. However, do keep in mind that when someone ghosts you, it has nothing to do with your self-worth and the efforts you were putting in the relationship. It shows that the other person didn't have the courage to face you, your emotions, and even their own emotions. To minimize the hurt, be aware of any of these signs of ghosting so that you are mentally prepared for it and choose a partner who is there for you.