Sometimes your relationship can go through a rough patch, where it feels like you're always annoyed with each other. Any little thing can spark yet another argument. How do you know if it's just a rough patch or if it's the beginning of the end of your romance?
When you struggle to get along with your partner, after some time, you'll start to doubt if your relationship is going to survive. You will find yourself asking questions like, "is my relationship is dying?"
The signs described below will let you know for sure if your love has come to the end of the road.
You Argue All the Time and Problems Stay Unresolved
The proof of a healthy relationship is when the couple can disagree, but continue to communicate and come to a peaceful resolution.
Even if the solution is that they both agree not to speak about the thing that's upset one of them, this might not undo the problem, but it may allow time to pass for a permanent solution to present itself, or for one of them to come to terms with the issue and accept it.
If you and your partner are no longer able to find a solution to your arguments, it might be a sign that your relationship is dying.
It means that neither of you are willing to compromise or change your minds. It will be difficult for any relationship to continue this way.
You Don't Share Aspects of Your Daily Lives Anymore
You can remember the days when you were excited to share all the exciting things that happened throughout your day. These days you've lost interest in sharing anything - big or small, with your partner.
It might be because you already know they won't show any interest in what you have to say, or it could be that you know that you'll be annoyed by their response. Whatever the case, things between you have gotten so bad that you no longer feel the need to have sharing conversations about your daily life.
It is undoubtedly one of the signs a relationship is dying, as sharing your experiences is something that bonds you together. When this sharing stops, soon there'll be nothing to talk about and no connection between you.
You Don't Care About Each Other's Feelings
In the past, the thought of hurting your partner deliberately or accidentally would have made you feel sick. Now you feel indifferent.
They say that hate is not the opposite of love; indifference is.
Not caring about each other's feelings is dangerous ground for a relationship. When beginning an argument to hurt your partner or to feel satisfaction from seeing them back down from a confrontation, it's pretty clear that the love is gone and soon the relationship will be too.
You Try to Avoid Each Other
I had a friend who, towards the end of her relationship, wouldn't necessarily complain about her boyfriend, she would avoid talking about him. If one of us asked about him, she'd wave the question away and say something like,
"oh, Jake, you know him, he's fine."
If one of us invited her boyfriend to join us on a night out together, she'd have an excuse why he probably won't make it. She'd spend all her free time with us and never seemed to make plans to spend quality time with him. In the beginning, they were inseparable, but now it was obvious that she was no longer interested in spending time with her boyfriend.
One day I asked her if she was still happy in her relationship and why she never seemed to want her boyfriend around anymore. My friend said,
"Oh, he's just so miserable. All he does is complain. I want to have fun with my friends and forget about him whenever I can. Sometimes I think my relationship is dying. Do you think we'll make it?"
I wasn't sure how to answer because I knew Jake was a good guy; he just wasn't currently happy with his life.
In the end, her instincts were right. Her relationship was dying. Six months later, they broke up.
You No Longer (Want to) Get Intimate With Your Partner
In the beginning, you weren't able to keep your hands off each other. Even when you argued, you used to make love after to make things better.
Physical demonstrations of affection are necessary to fuel romantic relationships
But now you can't stand the thought of your partner touching you. Each time he tries, you're filled with repulsion or detest.
As annoying as this might be, it's nothing compared to the pain of rejection if it's the other way around, and your lover refuses to touch you.
If you ever summoned the courage to try to entice him but had to deal with the humiliation of him turning his back on you. You'll know that the answer to the question, "is my relationship dying?" is a definite "Yes."
You Think You Would Be Better Without Him
If you have started to believe that your life would be better off without him, it's an obvious sign of a dying relationship.
A partner is supposed to enhance your life, whether it's in small ways, like having someone to share your thoughts with, or just having someone to make you feel cared for. When simple desires aren't met, then you probably would be better off without them.
If they always make you unhappy and you only feel peace when they're not around, then you are definitely better off without them.
If you think the time you've spent with your partner was wasted and you could have been with someone better suited to you, this is one of the signs a relationship is dying.
You Only Stay Because It's Easier Than Leaving
Spending your life with another person means that the other person's life will become interwoven with yours. When we are in relationships, we end up sharing almost every part of our lives, including our family, friends, and furniture! Just the thought of beginning to untangle it can make you feel faint and overwhelmed.
Many couples stay in their relationship because leaving will create massive disruption in their lives. Having a joint mortgage or children can trap people in relationships that have been dying for years. If this is your situation, you must consider whether the sacrifice is worth it.
It's not always easy to face up to these kinds of realities, but if you can relate to most of the signs described above, it is clear that you are in a dying relationship.
Final Words
So you don't necessarily care about your partner's feelings, you no longer talk, you aren't intimate, and you couldn't care less whether they're around or not. These are all red flags and signals that a relationship is in the danger zone if something isn't done to make things better.
Ask yourself, in ten years, will you be happy you stayed and made it work, or would you wish you left earlier and rebuilt your life?
If you answered yes to the former, make an effort to work on improving your relationship, seek professional help if necessary. Otherwise, be brave and take control of your life. Move on to find the happiness you deserve.