In an ideal world, the first date with someone should make you feel enthusiastic, joyful, and curious. In real life, you probably feel nervous and lack confidence. Although you realize all these feelings are overwhelming without a serious reason, you don't seem to able to shake them off.
Even so, you have already taken the first step to solve your problem, though it is not really a problem as everyone has pre-date jitters. Founded or not, all your negative thoughts can be transformed into positive ones by trying a few simple steps.
Learn once and for all how to not be nervous for a date because, as you already know, simply showing up doesn't help much.
10 Confidence-Boosting Ways to Prepare for a First Date
First date fouls can easily be avoided if you take some time to prepare for it. Understand that it is normal to feel nervous, and try to apply the most efficient ways to stay calm and uncover your confident self. Don't overlook the purpose of your date, which is to get to know a person with whom you might spend the rest of your life.
1. Plan your meeting together with your date
When you want to avoid being nervous before a date, try to plan it in detail. Because most women are invited out for a first date, they tend to skip the planning process and leave it totally up to the man.
The last thing you need is to show up with big plans in mind that involve activities for which you are not prepared. What causes you all that anxiety is not knowing what will happen. Therefore, try to discuss the details so that both parties are as comfortable as possible.
2. Pick a pub or restaurant you like
Going on dates pulls everyone out of their comfort zone. Instead of simply accepting this part of dating, you could try to minimize its extent. The purpose of dating is to know more about a certain person and discover if there's interest in a romantic relationship. That's why the place where it happens isn't important for the date itself, but rather for the way it could develop.
Thus, a familiar place can calm your nerves, because you'll know what to expect from it. The element of surprise will come from only your date.
3. Treat yourself with a pre-date drink
When you are simply too tense and shaking inside, drink a glass of wine. Treat yourself with your favorite cocktail. However, tempted or not, don't reach for the second glass. This tip is meant to calm you down just a bit before the date starts. Indulge in more drinks afterward if everything goes smoothly.
4. Flood your brain with endorphins
Replacing one emotion with another is also a great solution. Why sit nervously in front of the TV when you could move your body to achieve your fitness goals, as well as flood your brain with endorphins? Endorphins are a type of hormone that makes us feel good when they are released, and they also have an analgesic effect.
In addition, after a good workout, you will feel more confident and happy. One thing to keep in mind, though, is to save enough time after going to the gym in order to fix yourself up for your date.
5. Opt for a comfortable outfit
Wearing a comfortable outfit is equally important for both men and women. Exceptions are cases when you wear the same clothes you were wearing at work, an occurrence which is totally understandable for busy people.
A wardrobe malfunction could also make you nervous on the first date. That's why it is recommended to pick something comfortable that highlights your best features. Ladies, I know you want to impress every man with those new heels, but I urge you to wait for the right occasion! You want him to look past them, preferably directly into your soul.
6. Do not identify silent moments as awkward
The conversational flow during a date is not determined only by how many things the two have in common. You could take charge and tell stories for hours, but letting the other person start a topic could be a good idea, too.
This way, you could learn what he or she is thinking about. Use this period of silence to gather your thoughts and perhaps ask a follow-up question or start the next topic on your list.
7. Make a list of topics to discuss
Are you trying to learn how to not be nervous for a date? Take a few minutes prior to your date to make a list of topics. If you truly want to avoid awkward silent moments, it is advisable to come up with a few fun and less serious topics.
Read the room before you initiate a conversation. Telling a joke or a funny experience are great ice-breakers, and they can also be used to keep a conversation running smoothly. Moreover, this step has another advantage - you won't overlook important questions you've been meaning to ask.
8. Focus on being friendly first
Numerous renowned psychologists can't stress enough that friendship is as essential in a relationship as trust and sex are. When you have a friend by your side, he or she becomes a reliable person; a person who is there for you and with whom you can share your most hidden fears and secrets.
So, look at your date as an opportunity to meet a friend and see what he or she is up to. If a romantic relationship develops, it's definitely a plus.
9. Think of an escape if necessary
While we are all trying to stay positive here, there is still a small probability your date won't go as you wish and you might want to leave early. What makes you nervous before a date could also make you nervous during it.
So, try as much as possible to exclude all the factors. If you are afraid you'd like to leave and your common sense will keep you there against your will, think of an escape plan. Arrange for a friend to call or prepare your date by mentioning you have plans afterward.
10. Show off your fabulous self
Pre-dates' thoughts might shake off a bit of your confidence. Your worries spread on so many levels that you can no longer control them. But, what's the point? The ultimate purpose of a date is relationship compatibility. Is all that pressure making you act shy when, in fact, you're an extrovert?
Don't let it. Try to be as honest as possible and act like yourself. Not having to control every move and everything that comes out of your mouth is also a relief.
You Are Not Your Anxiety
Your anxiety is tormenting you in your best interest. What's essential to realize is that it doesn't define you. It only gives you things to think about, the majority of which could turn out to be uncomfortable.
That's why it's ideal to check every aspect before your date and set everything right in order to have the best time.