Sexting and sending naughty pics are kinda flirting. We live in an age where we hear about people's personal messages, pictures, or videos being used against them after a hacking or a break-up. So what do you do when you're missing your lover and want to get it on when you're apart?
It's the rebirth of phone sex. This time around we have the option of the technological advancement of video calls. Whether you're new to talking dirty or you want to improve on your erotic communication skills, here are some tips on how to get good at phone sex.
1. Ask for consent
The most important step before even thinking of calling someone to talk about sex is to ask for consent. It doesn't have to be formal permission, but you have to make sure that the person on the other end of the phone is happy to participate in this sort of thing. You can simply say something like "Hey, have you ever had phone sex before? Wanna try it?" If you ask in this casual way, they'll be more likely to be open to it than if it comes off as some kind of seedy fetish.
2. It's better when it's planned
Guys usually like these kinds of things to be spontaneous, whereas girls prefer to be prepared for their sexual encounters. If we've planned to spend our evening on the sofa with our Mom, watching a girly series on Netflix, a call from our boyfriend wanting to talk dirty won't be received very well. For us, the preparation begins in the mind. It makes it more sensual when we've had the time to think about having phone sex and get excited about it.
3. Be prepared
Imagine having the hottest phone sex session ever. Your girl is telling you exactly what she would like you to do to her, and then your phone battery dies. Or you're both trying to have an intimate conversation, but she can't hear you very well because your phone line keeps breaking up. Technical difficulties are an instant mood killer, so charge your phone, make sure you have good reception, and be prepared!
4. Set the scene
If you're planning on trying video phone sex, don't forget to prepare your environment too. Clean up your room, remove anything that you don't want in the background that might be a distraction or turn off for your partner completely. Dim the lights and create an ambiance that's good for focusing on maintaining the right mood for your goal.
5. Learn what your partner likes
Even if you've yet to have actual sex with your girlfriend, it'll help the experience go better if you understand the type of girl she is and what she likes. You can think back to any of the conversations about sex that you've had in the past to gain an idea of how sexually adventurous she'll be. If she's shy or introverted, you'll have to be patient and not expect her to be too explicit at first. But if she's bold and confident, then you can go as wild as you're both comfortable with.
6. Spice it up with your language
When you're having sex through the phone, you won't speak the same way you would if you were placing an order for pizza delivery. You'll want to speak slowly in a soft and sensual tone. This will help maintain the mood. Use words that will create the right imagery in your lover's mind. Words like wet, warm, firm, sweet, pink, plump, stroke, rub, lick, suck are all words that can be said alone or in a sultry sentence that will be sure to get them in the mood.
7. Ask questions
Asking your significant other questions during phone sex is an easy way to help them stay involved. They can contribute their own sexy thoughts without the pressure of having to think up what to say. You can ask questions like "If I were there, where would you want me to put my tongue?"
8. Reminisce on past romantic romps
For those of us that have enjoyed the real thing together, we get to reminisce about those times. But don't just say "Remember that night we did it in the car? That was so hot!" This doesn't leave your partner much to go with. Instead, you can say something like "Do you remember the night in the car? I slid my hand up your skirt, you were already excited…." This will allow her to add her own memories of being aroused.
9. Create a fantasy together
Even if you're confident that you know how to have phone sex, there are many things you can talk about that will make your phone sex not only passionate but fun too! I love creating a fantasy with my lover. Telling him about hypothetical scenarios where he ends up doing all the things I like the most is liberating and satisfying, while he gets to include his own sexual fantasy acts in the story. It's a great way to let your arousal bounce off of each other!
10. Touch yourself, or don't
There are no set rules on how to have phone sex. Some people like to touch themselves, while others don't. Some people prefer to use toys and some people like to have porn playing in the background. Whichever way you and your bae like it is exactly how you should do it. Just make sure that neither of you feels pressured to go beyond what you're comfortable with. It will ruin the mood and turn you off of the idea of phone sex in the future.
Summary
For couples unable to be physically together, phone sex is a wonderful way to keep your sexual intimacy alive. It can teach you so much more about each other and when you're finally reunited, it'll make your sex life explosive. To enjoy great phone sex follow the tips we've listed above and your relationship will reap the benefits of your erotic efforts.