The feeling of love is filled with such subjectivity that it's really hard to define. It represents an array of multiple feel-good sensations. In addition to this, we can add altruism, care, and selflessness. All these changes that affect us on multiple levels can be identified and understood as signs of love.
That's why, if you feel like you can't confidently answer the question "Do I love him?", then we can go through a few points meant to clarify your feelings. However, these are general tendencies that apply to the majority of people who are in love.
We admit there might be co-dependency cases, as well as cases when you are simply too familiarized with the guy and you mistakenly think it's love.
15 Eye-Opening Points to Identify Love
Attachment, commitment, and intimacy are all part of loving someone. Because this inexplicable feeling spreads on so many levels, you might have a hard time knowing for sure if you love someone.
Scanning your brain for chemical impulses is out of the question, so what you can do is rely on your thoughts, behaviors, and feelings. You have all the answers, but you have to ask the right questions, first.
1. His needs are your needs
When you put his needs before yours, it's love. By doing so, you are not just being considerate. It's something more than that. If not long ago, you were passively listening to your partners' needs, wishes, and complaints and said nothing but a cliche phrase of encouragement, your reactions don't stop there anymore.
You are actually thinking about what you can do to meet his needs. No effort seems too much anymore.
2. You shop for two
When you go shopping, you no longer buy things for yourself only. You keep noticing stuff that he likes and buy it for him. Before you exclaim, "I think I love him!", ask yourself why you buy nice things for him. Is it because you want to see him smile, or is it because you want him to appreciate you more and more?
Regular people, as well as world-class psychologists, say love is selfless. So, if you picked the first reason, it's real love.
3. Thoughts about the future aren't scary
Imagining a future with someone can be scary if you are not sure how you'd like things to develop. Stress and pressure can intervene when making plans. That's why this is another excellent indication of love.
When you feel excitement, enthusiasm, and happiness for what's to come, you already feel safe and confident without even realizing it. Unlike during previous relationships, you don't think of all the ways the future could go bad. On the contrary, you are optimistic and feel empowered.
4. His presence or attention makes your day
Once a person hard to influence, you now find yourself switching your mood to the moon and back when you see him or when he sends you a text, for example. Seeing him for a short while doesn't bring dissatisfaction. You tend to see the full half of the glass rather than focusing on the negative.
5. You express your personality freely
Don't rush into saying, "I think I love him" before you ponder another aspect. Are you being yourself around him? He could catch you in his web of seductive control, and you could be too mesmerized to see it.
When you share less-than-attractive things about yourself or stuff that doesn't necessarily put you in a good light, you are showing him your vulnerable side. In other words, you realize the danger of getting hurt, but you still want him to see the real you.
6. Re-reading your conversations is part of your day
When he is not texting you, calling you, or sending you something funny or cheesy, you tend to read your previous conversations again and again. By doing so, you are looking to relive the same sensations as before. This means he made you feel good, and you'd like to experience that once more.
In a way, you are daydreaming and allowing yourself to deepen your emotions for him. However, the same question goes through your mind: Do I love him? Only you can know for sure, but all the clues seem to lead to an affirmative conclusion in this case.
7. You wish him to be part of your family and group of friends
On one hand, your friends and family should theoretically accept any man you choose. They should do so out of respect. Although they might oversee a possible failure, they stay by your side and support you with both empathy and good advice.
On the other hand, you want this time to be different. You wish that everyone would like him and see in him what you already see.
Do I really love him if I want everyone to get along? Yes, you do. If not, you'd be keeping him for yourself, only without thinking about the future too much.
8. Jealousy munches on your soul lately
What is jealousy, really? Is it a sign of insecurity, or do you accept the danger of losing him? Let's focus on the second part. Fear surfaces as a natural reaction to danger. His actions or the other woman's actions are as harmless as possible. Yet, you still feel this way.
So, don't mistake this emotion with a lack of trust. It is just your brain's way of signaling that what you want could be taken from you. However, simple feelings of jealousy should not be related to suspicion.
9. Other guys magically disappear from your mind
Countless women and men tend to keep conversation lines open with other potential partners, even after they begin dating. This is a sort of safety net in case things don't work out.
For you, however, he has become your safety net. Besides not feeling as attracted to other guys as you were in the past, you no longer feel the need for a backup plan. You're ready to commit to him and dedicate your time and attention to this man alone.
10. Your idea of fun has changed
Where is that party animal who used to go clubbing every weekend? At home, probably, being the little spoon while binging on TV shows. This is a new level of intimacy you are experiencing - one very different compared to those after-party random hookups.
If you like it, and there's nothing else you'd rather do, then you've probably fallen head over heels for this guy.
11. He inspires and empowers you
A man with no power over your feelings is probably not the right one, and you're most likely only infatuated with him. The latter is a feeling that goes away pretty fast, because it's not based on real traits and meaningful interactions.
Conversely, if his words motivate you, and you try to be better in your endeavors, you have a valuable man by your side who can reach you on a different level.
12. Boredom has nothing to do with him
When you sit next to him doing nothing and getting bored out of your mind, ask yourself this: Do I love him? Now, carefully analyze what goes through your mind. Could you be doing this and that and feel great without him? Or is there nothing else you'd rather do than sit by his side and brainstorm about activities?
13. Old habits don't die hard
Love doesn't only leave marks on our souls; it can also better us and change some of our habits. For example, there are numerous individuals who constantly change their plans or postpone them just to meet the object of their affection. Some people even switch to eating vegan for their partner.
To what extent have you changed and why?
14. His interests become your interests
I know you didn't listen to rock music before, but since you are in a relationship with this man, you do now. This doesn't happen because that's what he listens to and he doesn't care what you like. It happens because you want to understand his likes and dislikes.
Moreover, you want to impress him if you know the difference between Whitesnake and the White Stripes. Showing this much interest is a sign of love.
15. You feel safe, calm, and protected around him
Let's try an exercise of your imagination. Picture in your mind the way you felt about going home to your parents when you were little. Do you remember how safe you felt inside? Were you calm, and did you feel protected?
Now imagine how you feel in this man's arms. Does he make you feel something similar, or is it a constant challenge with him? If the latter is the case, this may be a short-lived relationship.
You Have Reached the Finish Line
When you don't plan your every move rationally and systematically, you can observe what you do and translate your actions into feelings. In other words, there's no denial in this love story if you relate to some of the points listed above.
So, which is it? Is it true love that you're feeling or mere infatuation?