A healthy relationship usually begins with intense feelings of love and a visible attraction between you and your partner. While it is not expected that the excitement of a new relationship stays the same as time goes on. It can be jarring to find that not only are the butterflies in your belly totally gone, but you are also completely devoid of any emotion towards your partner. If you're feeling less connected, this emotional lifelessness can trigger feelings of guilt. They might not have wronged you in any way, and they're probably still the same person you fell in love with, but you still have these feelings of apathy towards them.
Rather than beat yourself up about it, it's important to distinguish between a rough patch you can work through and when to call it quits. How do you know you're falling out of love with your partner? Here are a few warning signs that will help.
1. Reduced Intimacy
A decline in your desire to spend time or be intimate with your partner is a clear sign that you may be falling out of love with them. Intimacy whether physical or psychological is a basic human need, so when the thought of hanging out with your partner doesn't spark as much joy and enthusiasm as it once did, it may be an indication that you have exhausted your feelings of love for this person.
2. You Miss Them Less
The passion that comes with a loving relationship often means that you and your partner become somewhat inseparable. You cherish every moment spent time together and cannot bear time apart. However, if you notice that you are no longer bothered by their absence, this may be a warning sign that you're falling out of love with them.
3. Leaving Them out of Your Future Plans
People fall in love for many different reasons, but couples tend to share common goals, hopes, and dreams as time goes on. If you find yourself making future plans without your partner or feeling pessimistic, unexcited, and reluctant about the plans you've made together. You might have lost those feelings of deep affection for them.
4. You're Easily Annoyed (Low Frustration Tolerance)
Are you too hard on your partner? Pointing out the little mistakes. Do everything they do irritate you? Maybe the practical jokes that cracked you up early on in the relationship have become more annoying than funny. After being with someone for a long time, you develop a fair amount of patience and tolerance dealing with them. The Desire to get over disagreements quickly is a mark of a healthy relationship. However, if your tolerance for him or her is unexplainably low, this is a glaring indication that your love for them is fading away.
5. They're No Longer a Priority
A shift in priority usually means your feelings about certain things have changed. If you realize that you're suddenly taking on more work, deliberately choosing activities that don't include your partner, and putting other people and other things first, then you may need to re-evaluate how you truly feel about them.
6. You're Longing for Someone Else
Fantasizing about someone else is a clear indication that the love you had for your partner may not be there anymore. People have ideas and images in their heads about what they want in a partner. You may desire someone else or even the thought of someone out there that is closer to that ideal partner.
7. You're Less Affectionate
Constant display of affection keeps a relationship solid. A decline in the verbal and physical expressions of love is always a cause for concern. It may be anything from forgetting birthdays and anniversaries to starving your partner of sweet and endearing words like saying "I love you". These changes can take a toll on the stability of a relationship and leave your partner questioning your love for them.
8. You're Being Secretive
Many indicators could suggest something is wrong in your relationship. One of the subtle clues is an unwillingness to be open with your partner and share your deepest thoughts with them. Chances are you're not hiding anything sinister, but the enthusiasm to even share with them the details of how your day went isn't there. While you may not tell your partner every tiny detail, it is expected that they are a safe space for you. When you don't feel safe enough to share your true feelings like you once did, the strong emotional connection you had may be weakening.
9. You Rather Not Talk About It
Every relationship has its own unique flow. Sometimes you and your partner are on the same page, other times you are not. Speaking up and resolving your differences signals a commitment to making the relationship work. If you're choosing to stay silent rather than voice your disagreements for a quick resolution, this might be a sign that deep down you may have given up on the relationship.
10. You're Having More Fun with Other People
For couples deeply in love, there is no shortage of laughter, happiness, and genuine fun when they're together. Couples often refer to each other as their happy place. If you're gloomy and bored when you're with your partner, but you notice that you're in higher spirits and having more fun with other friends. This might mean that there is an emotional disconnect between you and your partner.
11. You're Talking to Others About Your Partner
When you're sharing intimate details about your relationship with others, that's one sure way to tell that the feelings you have for your partner might be on the decline. It may be out of frustration or a quest for advice and emotional support, regardless this signals an emotional disconnect between you and your partner.
12. You Remember the Bad Memories
Relationships are like roller-coaster rides, full of ups and downs. Another glaring indicator that you are falling out of love is that you only remember the bad times in the relationship. If the only things that come to mind when you think about your partner are their mistakes and shortcomings, or the challenges you're currently facing as a couple. Then it is more than likely that you may not love your partner anymore.
13. You're Not Putting Your Energy Into the Relationship
For a relationship to work both parties must continually fan the flame of love so it burns bright. A reluctance and unwillingness to make things work. You may notice reduced energy in the activities you do with your partner. When you're in love with someone there is an eagerness to have as many experiences as possible with the one you love. Lethargy towards your significant other is one sure sign that your feelings of love towards them have been diluted.
Dwindling feelings doesn't mean the end of a relationship.
As relationships progress, couples naturally transition into different stages of life. These changes can either strengthen or weaken the bond between them. Career changes, different interests, and hobbies, or different views can create an uncomfortable distance between couples.
Although it can be distressing to consider falling out of love with a long term partner, with patience, commitment and a strong belief it is possible to rekindle your love life. If you're asking yourself am I falling out of love? Then it would be best to ensure that you re-establish honest communication with your partner.
Be open about any changes in your expectations and changes in their behavior you're not comfortable with. It may be a new friend they are hanging out with or maybe they're distant because they're not feeling appreciated or respected enough. Furthermore, you can try to incorporate more activities and hobbies you're both interested in and actively seek out more things to do together to rekindle that dying flame. Also Intentionally focusing on the good memories will definitely stir up good feelings towards your partner.
It's important that we're true to ourselves and our emotions. Losing feelings for someone is truly a complicated situation, so before you take any action it's best to not jump to conclusions and find out what's triggering these feelings of emotional numbness. Patience and commitment are required to find the real reasons for these feelings and then, if possible, try to rekindle your love.