In today's world, no one feels like they're good enough. We are pressured and confined to all kinds of social and cultural norms, and have to meet the standards of your family members, friends, and etc. Insecurity is just a natural consequence of stress caused by this kind of pressure. That means that insecurity is not a character trait and it can be altered or even eradicated. If you have a partner who's insecure, don't perceive it as a strain that much. Insecure people indeed are needy, but things with a person like that are just a little more complicated than in the regular relationship. An insecure person needs extra attention, care, and love, but they need some changes as well. If you don't know how to deal with an insecure partner in a relationship, don't panic. Here is a bit of useful advice on how to help them and achieve a happy and stable relationship.
Tips on How to Reassure Someone Who Is Insecure
Having an insecure partner can teach you a lot of things and you will also change and grow by their side. No one is infallible, and furthermore, deep down, we all are a bit insecure.
1. Learn how to be patient
First of all, you have to learn how to be tolerant and patient. Lack of patience is something that can ruin a relationship. Even if you maybe can't understand why your partner feels a certain way and that their way of thinking seems irrational, you should stay calm and try to listen to them.
2. Help them build self-esteem
Lack of self-confidence might make them say or do something they didn't intend to. If this happens, take a deep breath and don't blame them. Remember that they always have to experience a horrific swirl of thoughts before they screw up. It's hard for them as well.
3. Point out their talents and help them
For some reason, people tend to undermine their skills and talents or don't even notice them. If your partner is one of these people, shower them with compliments. If they do something well, tell them that you think so, and also why you think so. By doing so, they will start to believe in themselves and they won't feel the need for insecurity. When one has high self-esteem, there is no place for insecurity.
4. Identify the source of their insecurity
Who knows what can make your partner so unsure about everything. Is it their appearance? Is it their view on success? There must be a part of their life that they dislike or reject. Everything can be fixed, so there's no need for that, but it's perfectly understandable that your partner will be insecure if they, for example, think that they aren't as pretty as other people. They might consider others as a threat because of that. When you determine the real cause of their insecurity, you will be able to fight it together.
5. Don't blame them for their behavior
You shouldn't let your partner drain your energy because of their insecurities. However, you can't blame them as well. Acting out of fear is something that's not quite controllable, and it's your partner's fear you should fight with, not your partner. Be gentle and tell them that you know it's not their fault. Don't be too gentle and don't tolerate everything, though. Then, your partner will have no reason to change.
6. Don't leave them immediately
Relationships should be connections in which both parties are happy and pleased. If you are not happy because of your partner's behavior, don't leave immediately. Your partner should know that they should work on themselves in order to be truly happy.
7. Talk to them openly
Encourage them to make some changes in their behavior. An honest conversation is a key to good communication. Apart from that, if your partner manages to change, they will finally have peace of mind. That's why you should try to talk things out. Talking about problems seemingly solves nothing, but actually, it can help you find the source of your partner's insecurity.
8. Meet your partner's reasonable expectations
We are all different in a relationship. Some of us are free-spirited, talkative, and gregarious, and some of us take issue with such behavior. Jealousy and distrust are a big problem, and if your partner is insecure because they believe you will leave them for another person, try to adjust your habits a bit, but remember this: under no circumstances should you change because your partner wants you to. You won't be happy if you aren't true to yourself. Change only what you can and want to change.
9. Show them the affection
This is probably the best way to soothe your partner's anxiety. Snuggle with them, hug and kiss them all the time. You don't need words to show someone that you care about them, and they will feel important because of your actions.
10. Don't whine or complain
Nobody forces you to be with your partner. Therefore, you can't complain. You can help them and try to improve your relationship, or you can leave. It's up to you, but complaining certainly won't motivate your partner to change.
Summary
Many people don't know how to deal with an insecure partner in a relationship, and when something like that happens to them, they are completely lost. If you notice that your partner is or is becoming insecure, you should react positively. Be supportive, and work on your relationship. They are not their fears, so help them understand that. They need your support and attention because they care about you and they can be frightened to lose you. If you feel too drained, maybe your partner is not for you, and that's okay, but don't give up just without talking to him or her about the situation.